I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
