The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
