didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
