And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
