My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
