Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize