i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize