He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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