dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
