I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We're too hungover to prance.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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