it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
