I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
that's an acceptable place to lick
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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