Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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