Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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