And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
