Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Text me some of your sweat
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