Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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