But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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