At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
