Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize