How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
