But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
