the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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