Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
