do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
