just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
