I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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