You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
