All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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