I'm jealous of your bromance
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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