i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
