If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
