this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Semen is not good for contacts.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
