I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
