Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I need to stop coming to work sober
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
