whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
