Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize