Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i dont even know how to be here
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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