I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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