I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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