Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
