My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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