i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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