Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
