At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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