capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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