i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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