Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
