what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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