I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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