omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
