I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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