You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i think i have two assholes
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
