I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
