Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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