is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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