And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
