I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
