She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Help me help you realize you are a moron
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
