we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
