I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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