well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
