yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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